Anime, Dissection, Feature

Naruto Dissection: Orochimaru the Ultimate Pedophile

Since the Naruto series has concluded, it’s now the appropriate time to dissect the series for some ridiculously hilarious clips that is doesn’t really make any sense. At the end of this post, I hope you will see Naruto in a new light like I have. Enjoy!

I was probably about four years old when Naruto came out. It was different than all of the other cartoons I used to watch, and soon it was on Cartoon Network which was cool. I guess I was so young that horny characters like Orochimaru just slipped past me. Let’s just start with Exhibit A:

So, we’re just gonna ignore that this 50-year old dude chomped on a boy’s neck. Come on, he couldn’t have bit his arm or something? This was just weird! Then, look at that creepy grin. Those kids sure were brain-washed. Saskue walked through the Naruto series thinking he was entitled because of the Curse Mark. He was so proud of it. But, in reality, all he had was a snake hickey on his neck. Exhibit B!

If you skip to 2:03, you can see exactly what I’m talking about! So, Zaku is one of Orochimaru’s brain-washed lackeys. If you watched Naruto, you could remember that Sasuke broke his arms in the Forest of Death after activating his snake hickey. Also, he fought Shino in the first round of the Chunin Exams. This video basically sums up how he met Orochimaru. So, right now, Zaku looks like he’s about 11. If you skip to 2:03, you will see Orochimaru walk up on this young kid in just a robe. Yes, a robe.

What more can I say. He approached children in basically no clothing. If you think I’m just being petty, let’s look at Exhibit C:

I remember when this episode aired on Cartoon Network. Boy, when he did this, it scared the heck out of me. Not only is this grown man disguised with the face of a young girl, his laugh is just depraved. I can imagine the Third Hokage looking at this old man, thinking what must have turned him into a power-greedy monster who collects and brainwashes children. I can also just wonder did Sasuke find this a tad bit creepy after he decided to train with this guy.

Well, guys, that’s my article for today. If you liked it, go ahead and hit the like and share button. You can comment your thoughts below, too!




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